Women Are From Venus

Men Are From Mars

Women show their love by looking forward to spending time together and sharing details of the day.  When men are not talking, the women assume that something is wrong and will start pushing for answers.

Men sometimes do not want to spend time with the people they love.  They want to withdraw into their “Cave” to recharge.

Solution:  Don’t take this personally and nag him into staying in his “Cave” longer.

Solution:  Show her love and attention when you are out of the “Cave”.

Women talk about their problems and feelings to:

• discover what they want to say

•  relieve stress. 

• sort things out

• to feel better.

She wants to be heard, not fixed by being offered advice and solutions.

Men talk as a way of:

• making points

• looking for solutions

He mistakenly assumes that his role as a listener is to efficiently assist her in feeling better by offering her solutions.  Thus they have a tendency to interrupt a woman with solutions.  They become upset when they constantly hear the same problems brought up and they are not able to solve them.
 

Solution:  Wait till he is out of his “Cave” before you talk. 

Solution:  Learn to listen more and patiently when she talks.  Do not offer her solutions.  She just needed to feel heard.

What turn her on?  When he shows he cares by remembering special occasions and helping her around the house.

What turn him on?  When she shows him admiration and appreciation for little things he does.  The more she appreciates (extra hugs and kisses), the more he wants to do.

Women leave men, not because they are unhappy with what he can provide, but because there is no communication and they are emotionally unfulfilled - a feeling of giving and not getting.

Men leave women because they feel that they cannot make them happy.

Solution:  Learn to trust and accept him.  Show him that you appreciate him by doing things that he likes and enjoy.  Found out his dislikes and do something about it.

Solution:  Learn to understand and respect her.  Show her that you care by taking note of things she likes and enjoy.  Found out her dislikes and do something about it.

When women are hurt, they need to talk about their feelings to feel heard, understood and validated.

When men are hurt, they need to withdraw (go on a vacation or bury themselves in their work) and look at their feelings.

Solution:  Learn to let go of her resentments.  Look at the part she has played in the problem and find forgiveness.

Solutions:  Focus on the part he has played and takes responsibility for his contribution to the problem and seek forgiveness.

A Chinese saying:

"When someone shares with you something of value and you derive benefit from it, you have the obligation to share it with others".
 

Nancy Poh Shares
greenbeings@mail2malaysia.com