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Bosses
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A
customer service rep, a sales rep and a vice president of a business firm
in a large city are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they
find an antique oil lamp. They
rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each
of you just one." "Me
first! Me first!" says the customer service rep. "I want to be
in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Poof! She's gone.
In
astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I
want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's
gone.
"You're
next," the Genie says to the vice president. The vice president says,
"I want those two back in the office after lunch."
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Moral
of story: Always Let your Boss have the first say.
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A
young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he
found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper
in his hand.
"Listen,"
said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important
document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing
work?"
"Certainly,"
said the young executive. He turned the machine on,
inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent,
excellent!" said the CEO
as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need
one copy."
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Lesson
learnt: Never, never assume that your BOSS knows
everything.
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A
crusty old man walks into a
bank and says to the teller at the window: I want to
open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman
replies: "I beg your pardon,
sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you
say?"
"Listen
up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account
right now!"
"I'm
very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language
in this bank." "Having said this, the teller leaves the
window and goes over to the
bank manager to tell him about her problem customer.
They
both return and the manager
asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem
here?"
"There's
no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just
won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn
checking account in this damn bank!"
"I
see," says the manager thoughtfully.
"And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a
hard time?"
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Lesson
learnt: If you are RICH, you can get away with almost
anything.
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An
American and a Japanese were
sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned
to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of '-ese' are you?"
The
Japanese confused, replied,
"Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."
The
American repeated, "What
kind of '-ese' are you ?"
Again,
the Japanese was confused over
the question.
The
American, now irritated, then yell, "What kind of
'-ese' are you? Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese,
etc...."
The
Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
A
while later, the Japanese turned
to the American and asked what kind of '-key' was he.
The
American, frustrated, yelled,
"What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I?!"
The
Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a
Yankee?"
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Lesson
learnt: Never insult anyone.
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