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Cheating Spouse
46
Clues Your Partner is
Having an Affair
by Dr. Robert Huizenga
Some of these are "tongue in cheek" while
others are tell tale signs that commonly appear when someone is having an
affair. There is no copyright. Feel free to forward to those who might be
interested.
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Learning From Others
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1)
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You
find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a
vasectomy. |
Before
Hiring A Private Investigator (PI)
Ask yourself what your intentions are
for taking this step:
- Do you intend to ask for a divorce with
the evidence collected?
- Or do you plan on using it to stop him /
her from carrying on with the affair?
- If he / she stopped the affair would you
be able to accept him / her completely with the evidence so vivid in
your mind? Would you be able to forgive their actions?
Hiring a PI can be a costly affair,
financially and emotionally:
- Can you afford the services?
- If you do not intend to divorce your spouse even when you have the
evidence than ask yourself if you should proceed.
- Would it be
better to spend the money on improving the relationship through
attending courses or grooming
yourself to build up your self esteem or go on a much needed holiday together to re-establish the
marriage / relationship?
- Can you handle the reaction of your spouse if
he / she has been faithful to you and discovered that you have hired a
PI to check on him / her?
- Now that you have lost your trust in
your spouse, would you accept it if the PI
confirmed that your spouse is not having an extramarital affairs,
especially when
you continue to see the "signs"?
How do you plan on hiring one?
- Are you going to
ask your friends / relatives or go through the classified
ad?
- How will you be able to judge their reliability?
- Would you be able to trust the PI you
have hired?
- Would hiring one create fears that the PI will
play you out by using the evidence collected to
threaten your spouse into paying more than what you would have paid
for the service?
- Can you do it on your own or form a self
help group with similar concerns? Who can you approach? How
can you go about it?
Read Dr. Robert Huizenga's views on:
"Should I
Spy?"
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2)
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Mutual
friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the
cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or
girlfriend you are.) |
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3)
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Sets up a new e-mail
account and doesn't tell you about it. |
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4) |
He leaves the house in
the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like
Safeguard. |
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5)
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He joins the gym and
begins a rigorous workout program.
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6)
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He buys a cell phone
and doesn't let you know.
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7)
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He sets up a separate
cell phone account that is billed to his office. |
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8)
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He carries condoms,
and you are on the pill. |
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9)
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Begins to delete
all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.
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10)
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Deletes all incoming
e-mails when they used to accumulate. |
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11)
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He becomes
"accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of
guilt. |
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12)
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Raises hypothetical
questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person
at a time?" |
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13)
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He buys himself new
underwear. |
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14) |
He insists the
child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.
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15) |
She stops wearing her
wedding ring. |
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16) |
Has a sudden desire to
be helpful with the laundry. |
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17) |
Has unexplained
scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.
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18) |
Suddenly wants to
try new love techniques.
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19) |
He/she suddenly wants
more sex, more often. |
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20)
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Supposedly works a lot
of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.
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21)
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Picks fights in order
to stomp out of the house. |
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22) |
You find out by
accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but
supposedly worked on those days.
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23) |
Shows a sudden
interest in a different type of music.
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24) |
Spouse's coworkers are
uncomfortable in your presence.
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25) |
Has a sudden
preoccupation with his or her appearance.
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26) |
Spends an excessive
amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.
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27) |
He throws up a lot
because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner I prepared
when he got home.
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28) |
Your spouse is away
from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.
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29) |
His/her clothes smell
of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's
shirt.
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30) |
You find items of
intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your
spouse.
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31) |
You get calls where
the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.
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32) |
She uses a low voice
or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.
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33) |
She has a
"glow" about her.
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34) |
He sneaks out of the
house. |
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35) |
She sleeps with her
purse by the bed. |
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36) |
She goes to the store
for groceries and comes home 5 hours later. |
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37) |
He tells you can get
hold of him at a different telephone number. |
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38) |
Your spouse seems
less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.
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Learning
the painless way
These are the signs you
have noticed, so you think your husband is having an affair.
Could
her name be Hyperthyrodism?
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39) |
He/she fairly
suddenly stops having sex with you.
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40) |
Atypical erratic
behavior.
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41) |
He/she loses
attention in the activities in the home.
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42) |
Your intuition (gut
feeling) tells you that something is not right.
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43) |
He/she has a definite
change in attitude towards everyone in the home.
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44) |
The telltale sign of a
cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.
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45) |
The amount of money being deposited into your
checking account drops off.
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Who
Are You Spending On?
Make
it a point to inform your partner if you are having financial
difficulties. Remember that your partner may worry un-necessarily
that you may have an affair while you are trying not to worry him / her
about your financial situation. |
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46) |
He stops confiding
in you and seeking advice from you.
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The
Void You Could Have Created
Your wife gave up her career to take care of the children and you can see that the
transition is stressing her out. So, you have good intentions when
you decided that you will not burden her further by bringing your work
problems home.
However, you have forgotten that she used to interact with a lot of people
while she was working. And, sadly, you did not notice that, after a day with the
children, she looks
forward to your return so that she can have a
stimulating adult conversation with you. Her enquiry on how
your day has been is always met with just an "OK" reply.
Sometimes she listened on as you talk to your friends or colleagues about the interesting projects you are
working on. She begins to think that she must be a very boring
person or that you do not value her opinions or thoughts now that she is a
housewife.
She
seeks an outlet and started working on some voluntary work and realised that she is not
useless or boring after all as she is able to hold interesting
conversation with the people she meets in her project.
So, if she is not boring than who is? Have you left a void in her
life? Do
something about it before she fills that void with someone more interesting.
Do not let your love ones suffer in your silence as difficulty
in getting you to talk about
your day can
also be seen as a sign that you are trying to hide a second life. |
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Huizenga, the "Infidelity Coach," hosts the free Website:
Break-Free-From-the-Affair.com,
which helps couples deal with emotional infidelity and Extramarital affairs.
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If you think your spouse is
cheating, visit
Break-Free-From-the-Affair.com
today for informative articles
on "Relationship help," "Marriage counseling," "Signs of infidelity," and
more.
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